Sometimes when you find yourself in a deep and muddy hole, the best thing that you can do is calmly look up at the sky. It might be blue, it might be grey, but that simple act of looking somewhere else will remind you that your life is not all about the “here and now,” no matter how bad the “here and now” is.
We all have bad times in life when we feel like we are in that hole. Sometimes we fight to get out, but this often makes the walls of the hole ever more slippery. Sometimes we sit down and stare at the walls, blankly resigned to our fate. Sometimes we shout and scream about how unfair everything is. However, as (with time) we understand that life is filled with these black and white moments, sometimes we simply accept that we are in a hole and wait patiently looking up at the sky.
Bad times are not something to fight against – yes, they are a burden to bear, but there will always be moments when we will be able to look up at the sky and remind ourselves that they won’t last forever.
For me, my kids and my wife are an amazing source of comfort when things aren’t easy. Just focussing my thoughts on them helps me to forget about my troubles for a while. They are my “sky”, and after mucking around with my kids in the garden for half an hour, the hole seems that little bit smaller. I’m not saying that I feel like I am in a hole all of the time, far from it, but when those times do come, my loved ones are my “sky” to give me hope for the future.
We all have different things that we hold on to when times are tough. Some of us find our respite in sport, some of us escape into our work, and some of us like to take a walk in the fresh air. This doesn’t solve what is causing our unpleasant moment, but it gives us the strength to deal with whatever we need to.
When you starting fighting against and resenting your bad moment, you will inevitably make it even harder to bear. If you seek to work your way through it, with occasional looks up at the sky to give you strength, you will be surprised at how much easier it is to deal with.
In a world of perfect Instagram photos and inspirational quotes on social media, it is easy to imagine that you are the only one going through a tough time. It feels lonely and just a little bit sad. Putting on a “happy face” on social media is many people’s way of coping with the inadequacies in their lives, but it is far from the truth. If I am having a tough time, I would much rather tell someone about it – somehow that releases that little bit more sunlight into the hole, and a burden shared is definitely a burden halved.
So, it’s okay to have a bad moment. It happens. A lot. Just accept it for what it is, look up at the sky every now and again, and you’ll find a way through it.
Written by Alex Turner, Edited by Paul Drury