Did You Forget That 10-Second Kiss?

Did You Forget That 10-Second Kiss?

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Very few things in life are for ever, nor are they guaranteed. Time passes by, and like a flower turning towards the sun or a tree bent double by a hurricane, you play whatever hand fate deals you at any given moment. You never quite know what is around the next corner, but experience tells you that as long as you walk the path with your eyes open, you’ll be able to deal with most of life’s trials and tribulations.

There is, however, one constant that will always be with you, no matter what life is throwing in your face:

Emotions – the good, the bad and the ugly.

I am a big believer in the theory that we always have the option of choosing our attitude towards any given situation. It is impossible for us to live a life free of emotions, but if we let situations dictate our emotions rather than ensure that our emotions take control of the situation, we leave ourselves at the mercy of whatever life throws our way.

Let me give you one small, but very meaningful example.

Relationship experts say that you should give you partner a 10-second kiss every day. You know, the sort of kiss where you close your eyes and utterly lose yourself for a few moments. Now, how many of us can honestly hold our hands up and say that we have done this every day since we met our partners? Some of us are lucky to get a quick peck on the cheek in the morning. So, yes, a 10-second kiss demonstrates that you are taking a whole 10-seconds out of your day to give yourself to your partner. Count to ten now. It isn’t so long, is it? But it would seem like an age (and sometimes a little out of place) to passionately kiss our partner goodbye in such a way every day. Well, for many of us Brits anyway.

However, choosing to show your partner that you care for them in such a way is absolutely vital for the health of your relationship. It might not only be a long smooch – you might dedicate ten minutes to be “present” for them as they talk about their day at work, or make sure that you have loaded the dishwasher before they come in.

You care about them, you choose your attitude towards them, you decide how you want to behave, and your relationship will flourish, stagnate or wilt…. depending on the behavioural choices you make. You have full control over your emotional responses in the vast majority of situations – it all depends on how you choose to respond.

You might be working upstairs in your home office as she (he) shouts goodbye. You can mumble something incoherent, you can cheerily wish them a good day, you can walk wearily downstairs and give them a hug, or you can bound down the stairs and let them know how you feel with a 10-second kiss.

It is your choice, it is your attitude. Your attitude can make a huge difference to their day.

This isn’t just about kissing. It is about everything. Your attitude will be with you forever.

Written by Alex Turner, Edited by Paul Drury

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